Finding Beauty in the Thorns of Ministry

That friend that I had prayed into the church, loved on, opened up to, depended on, and served with was now handing my husband her church keys with a long list of reasons she would never return to our church.

My children saw their Mommy and Daddy cleaning the building alone with tears streaming down their faces. No Bible college class prepares you with what to do when your best friends leave the church.

“How could they do that to us?”

“I thought they loved us.”

“What did we do so wrong?”

 

Choosing to love people like Christ is choosing to be hurt by people like Christ was hurt.

 

I could sit here and write story after story of why we have gotten “the phone call” from our dear people telling us they would not be back. If you have been in ministry for any amount of time you probably have your stories of hurt too.

 

“Recovering from church hurt.” Is a very popular clickbait title in the ministry and Christian world now. Why? Because the church is full of sinful people who hurt other people. And here you are in a position as one of the leaders of those hurting and/or hurtful people.  Many Pastor’s wives or ministry wives I have spoken to will tell you they did not choose this job for themselves. God brought them (some kicking and screaming) into this calling. So how are you supposed to respond when that hurtful spirit is pointed in your direction?

We have Christ as our example.  (So, I think we are going to be okay.)

Jesus Christ’s three-and-a-half-long earthly ministry has more stories of rejection, neglect, arguments among disciples, bickering, fighting, mocking, and ultimately betrayal than most of us will have in an entire lifetime of ministry. Since you have found this blog, I’m sure a few passages come to mind.

 

He was dismissed by the crowd He served.

John 6:66-67 From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.  Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?

 

His Disciples constantly argued. 

Luke 22:24 And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest.

 

His own brothers did not believe Him.

John 7:5 For neither did his brethren believe in him.

 

He was questioned and belittled. 

John 7:12 And there was much murmuring among the people concerning him: for some said, He is a good man: others said, Nay; but he deceiveth the people.

 

He was mocked by the people. 

John 7:20 The people answered and said, Thou hast a devil: who goeth about to kill thee?

 

This was all before He was betrayed by one of His closest friends and abandoned by everyone who had walked beside him throughout His ministry. We read of the agony and physical suffering He went through on the cross but I believe the spiritual agony of loneliness and betrayal was even more unbearable than the physical destruction He felt.

The last words He uttered on the cross were not cries of physical agony but of spiritual separation.  “My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)

 

What does this mean for me and my suffering?

1.     Jesus experienced my pain.

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

The ache you feel every time you breath, the conversation that repeats over and over again in your mind, the text you have typed out and deleted a dozen times, the tears you have cried late at night – Jesus has been there with you in that sadness.

2.     Jesus overcame for me.

John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

You are not responsible for the reaction of other people. You share a pew with a sinner (even if you sit on the front row by yourself.) No person in your church is perfect and yet God has called you together. Those sinners will hurt you but Jesus has called you to peace. He has overcome every tribulation you will go through – including church hurt.

3.     Jesus has reconciled me to Himself and calls me to reconcile with others. 

2 Corinthians 5:18-19 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; to wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

To reconcile means to change a relationship from anger and strife to closeness and harmony. It assumes that there has been a breakdown of a relationship that now must be mended. Jesus Christ mended our relationship with God through His death on the cross. Now He calls us to the ministry of reconciliation.

 As ministry wives, if we are not careful, we can forget how much we needed to be reconciled. That person that started rumors about you or your family or hurt you in another way – their sin is no more or less sinful than your own sin. Jesus died for them just as He died for you. Your sin nailed Him to that cross just as much as their sin did. Their sin might affect you more than your own sin. However, it did not affect Jesus more than your own sin.

We as simple Christians, are called to be like Christ as we aim to reconcile our relationships with other saved sinners.

4.     Jesus promises to be with me always

Matthew 28:20 . . . And, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

Jesus promised to be with us always - Good days, bad days, and every day in between.  This verse has comforted me through so many seasons of ministry. He’s been there through the seasons of longing for connection when I felt alone in our church. He was there in the sadness of friends moving away and the sorrow of friends denouncing us. He was there as I held my husband's hand and cried as we walked those church keys to his office. He was there in the tears that fell into the church mop bucket as I cleaned that day. Christ has always been there. And He promises to be there with you too.

5.     Jesus asks me to be content with Him.

Hebrews 13:5 … and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

 

Ministry life is a bed of roses… It’s full of thorns and potential to get poked.

 

However, if we constantly focus on the pain and sorrow of ministry, we will miss out on the beauty God is producing in His people. The painful thorns of ministry life pale in comparison to the beautiful rose that is getting the Serve our Savior.  Thorns protect the flowers from invaders. Could it be that sometimes the pain of losing someone from the church is also protecting the health of our ministry? Thorns also help the plant climb. What good work has God started in you that he is now performing through Jesus Christ? (Philippians 1:6) 

 

So, remember in this time, dear Ministry Wife. . . Jesus has felt your pain. He has experienced your sorrow. Trust him. Lean on Him. Talk to Him. Study His reactions in scripture. I pray that someday, you too, will find the beauty in the thorns.